Daily Archives April 30, 2015

Who\’s backward?

What happens when you play Country music records backwards?You Sober up, your wife comes home and your dog returns to life!

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Are there Jews in China?

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Sid,” asked Al, “are there any Jews in China?””I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Are there any Chinese Jews?””I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Chinese Jews.””Are you sure?” Al asked.”I will check again, sir.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere.”When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Jews.””Are you really sure?” Al asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.””Sir, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated...

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Gas stations..

Why do they always lock the bathroom doors at gas stations?Are they afraid someone might clean them!?

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Rabbit and Bear

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods.The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?”The rabbit says, “No, of course not!”So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit!

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Mother Knows Best

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts,John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates.”About a week later, Julie came to John and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can’t find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?” John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure...

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