Daily Archives April 30, 2015

The Chinese construction worker.

A foreman at a construction site gathers three of his workers: an Irishman, an Italian and a Chinese. He says to the Irishman, “you’re in charge of Sweeping,I want this whole area swept up before I get back”. He says to the Italian, “You’re in charge of shoveling. I want that pile shoveled into the truck so they can haul it away.” He says to the Chinaman, “You’re in charge of supplies. No make sure that all gets done before I get back.” Three hours later, he returns and none of the work is done. The Irishman says, “I couldnt find a broom. You left the Chinaman in charge of supplies and he disappeared.” The Italian says “And I couldn’t find a shovel”. So the forman starts walking and looking for the chinaman. Just then,the Chinaman jumps out from behind a pillar and screams “SUPPLIES!!”

Read More

Y2K

President Yeltsin, President Clinton and Bill Gates are invited to havedinner with God. During dinner He tells them: “I needed three importantpeople to send my message out to all the people: Tomorrow I will destroythe Earth.”Yeltsin immediately calls together his cabinet and announces: “I have tworeally bad news items. God really exists, and tomorrow he will destroy theearth.”Clinton calls an emergency meeting of congress and announces: “I have goodnews and bad news. The good news is God really does exist; the bad news istomorrow he’s destroying the Earth.”Gates goes back to Microsoft and tells his employees: “I have two pieces ofgreat news. First, I am one of the three most important people on earth,and second, I think I’ve got the Y2K problem fixed.”

Read More

What\’s the difference?

What’s the difference between an epileptic oyster fisherman, and a hooker with diahrrea? Well, one shucks between fits.What’s the difference between a nun and a fat lady? One’s tryin to diet, and the other’s dyin to try it…

Read More

A Train and a Teacher?

What’s the difference between a Train and Teacher?A train says, “Chew, Chew!” and a Teacher says, “Spit the gum out!”

Read More

The Difference Is ..

What’s the difference between a porcupine and the White House?With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside!

Read More