Daily Archives April 30, 2015

FBI Agent for Hire

3 men where at the FBI Building for a job interview.The first man walked into the office . The interviewing FBI agent said “To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.” The man took the gun, hesitated, and said “Sorry, I can’t do it.”The next interviewee came into the office. The Agent said “To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room.I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.” The man took the gun, walked into the room, then walked out. “Sorry,” he said.The last man came into the office. The inverviewer said “To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room...

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Three breasted hooker

There’s this man who’s taking a walk around the red light districtuntil he passes a whorehouse with a blinking sign saying: “TheHooker With Three Breasts…”. The man get’s just a littleinterested and thinks “well… that could be a once in a lifetimeexperience”. So he goes in and walks up to the man behind thecounter. “I’d like to see the hooker with the three breasts” hesays.”Are you sure you can afford that… It’ll cost you a thousanddollars” the pimp replies. But, the man is too exited, pull’s hiswallet and pays him the money. So, he’s taken up three stairs to alittle room in the back of the house and when he opens the room…there she is. The room is dark but as he comes closer he sees it…three breasts! And so the man absolutely has the night of his life...

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Blonde quickies 181-200

181. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager.182. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.183. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave at her.184. Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: A golden retriever.185. Q: How do you check a blonde’s IQ? A: With a tire gauge.186. Q: How does a blonde interpret6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period.187. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: “Oh look! Doughnut seeds!”188. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? A: They don’t have to worry about blowing their brains out.189. Q: Why do blonds have two more brain cells than a cow ? A1: So they don’t shit everywhere when you pull their tits...

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Bras

Dad, can I ask you something?Sure! What about?You see, I’m already fourteen and…I think it’s just proper that I should own one.And what is this ‘one’ you’re referring to?Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?No!My nipples are already prominent and it catches attention.Nope!It will be just proper at my age…I said no way…!But all of my friends wear…Timmy! How many times shall I tell you that bras are for girls!?

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Hikers meet headhunters.

So these three people are hiking in a forest, and all of a sudden these headhunters catch them and bring the hikers to the head headhunter.The head headhunter says “If you want to live you must complete some tasks. First you must go into the forest, pick some fruits, and bring them back”So the hikers did that and came back.The head head hunter said “Now you must take the fruits you picked and stick them up your ass.”So the first hiker has apples… Ok, apples it shouldn’t be too hard.1 up okay… 2 up the hiker starts screeming, so the headhunters chop off his head. The second hiker has grapes. Ok, grapes this should be easy! 1 up okay… 2 up fine… 3… 4 the hiker starts laughing like crazy! The headhunters chop off his head...

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