Daily Archives April 28, 2015

2 people walk into a bar…

2 people walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Monkies in a tree.

There were 4 monkeys in a tree.Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?- It died.Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?- It was tied on to the first monkey.Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?- It got hit by the first two.Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?- Peer pressure.

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Lincoln

Your momma’s so fat that when she sits on a penny Lincoln dies once again!!

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Shiny New Motorcycle

An engineering student is walking on campus one day, when another engineer student rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.”Where did you get such a functional bike?” asked the first.The second engineer replied: “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, spread her arms wide and said: “Take what you want.”The second engineer nodded approvingly: “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

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A Cowboy and his Horse

This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says:”You White man, you will die at sundown, but Chief is not as evil as white man, so you gettum three wishes.” What is your first wish?, The cowboy looks around, thinks, then, with a gulp, say: “well, can i talk to my horse o’ great chief?”The Chief looks puzzled, laughs to his tribe and says “he-he, sure white man you can talk to your horse”. So the cowboy goes to his horse and wispers in it’s ear, the horse looks puzzled, but then with bright eyes it gallops off in a cloud of dust. The Indians just sit and laugh at the cowboy for wasting his wish. BUT, all of a sudden the horse returns with a Blonde riding upon its back...

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