Daily Archives April 28, 2015

The Cremation

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down nextto the grieving widow. “How old was your husband?” he asked.”He was ninety-eight,” she answered softly. “Two years older than Iam.””Really?” the undertaker said. “Hardly worth going home, wouldn’tyou say?”

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Clinton and Gore at lunch!

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.As they read the menu, the waitress comes over and asks Clinton,”Are you ready to order?” Clinton replies, “Yes, I’d like aquickie!””A quickie?!?” the waitress replies. “Sir, given the pastsituation of your personal life I don’t think that is a good idea. I’ll come back when you are ready to order from the menu!” She walksaway.Gore leans over to Clinton and says, “It’s pronounced Quiche.”

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Blonde quickies 221-230

221. What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do…222. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on here.223. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said “DISNEYLAND LEFT”. After thinking for a minute, she said to herself “oh well !” and turned around an drove home.On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES”. By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.224. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.225. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, “Awww, look at the dead birdie”...

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Macintosh Computers

MACINTOSH stands for…Most Applications Crash, If Not, The Operating System Hangs.

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Bouncer

Q. How many bouncers does it take to throw someone down the stairs?A. None! He fell.

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