Daily Archives April 25, 2015

Doctors Daiquiri

A Doctor made it his regular habit to stop at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the Doctors drink waiting for him at precisely 5:03 PM. One afternoon, as the end of the workday approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The Doctor came in and took a sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!””No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender…”It’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”

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Smitty the Parrot\’s Birthday

Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, “What do you want for your birthday?” Smitty says, “I want to get laid.”So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and squawking, so he runs upstairs and into the room.There’s Smitty, holding down the whore parrot and yanking out her colorful feathers.”Harry, says Smitty, what the hell are you doing?”Smitty says, “For a hundred bucks I want her nude!”

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Numbers

Why was 6 afraid of 7?Because 7 8 9!

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Gay Basher

Q: What’s the difference between a faggot and a queer?A: A faggot won’t go downtown with you to beat up queers!

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Rotten Little Johnny

Kids: “Hello Miss Saunders, can Johnny come out to play?” Mother: “I am sorry kids but you know Johnny has leprosy,” Kids: “Well, then can we come in and watch him rot?”

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