Daily Archives April 24, 2015

Computer Died

Ted: Last night my computer died. Ned: What did it die of? Ted: Aterminal illness

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Your momma is…

Your momma is like a doorknob – everyone gets a turn!

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Blind Golf?

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning at thethird tee (par 3, 185 yards, slight dog leg to left, water hazard on the right) while a particularly slow group of golfers were flailin away ahead of them.Engineer: What’s with these guys? We’ve been waiting for 15 minutes!Doctor: I don’t know but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!Priest: Hey, here comes the green keeper. Let’s have a word with him.Priest: Hi George. Say George, what’s with that group ahead of us?They’re rather slow, aren’t they?George: Oh yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year, so we let them play here anytime free of charge!Doctor: Wow! Thanks for the scoop George.Priest: That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight...

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Psychiatrist Handyman

Question: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?Answer: Just one … but the lightbulb has to REALLY want to change!

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4 Blonde quickies…

How do you know a blonde’s been at your computer? The joystick’s wet.How else do you know a blonde’s been at your computer? There’s white out on the screen.How do you know she’s been back? There’s writing on the white out.What do a turtle and a blonde have in common? Once they’re on their backs, they’re fucked!…but at least the turtle tries to get back up!

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