Daily Archives April 23, 2015

Gov\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’t

Don’t steal… The government doesn’t like competition!

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Virgina Girl

A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But her father said ‘No Way! You’re going to By-God West Virginia Univ.’Well she got her way and she went to UVA. The first semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married to a man from Richmond, VA named Clarence. Her father said ‘I’ll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man from Richmond. You’re marrying a By-God West Virginian boy.’So he sent his two sons to UVA to get their sister. In a couple of days they returned. Dad said ‘Where is your sister?’They replied ‘We were almost there Daddy, and we came up on this overpass that had this sign that read – ‘Clarence 13’6″ – so we turned around and got the hell out of there!’

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A trip to Pittsburg.

There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go hometo Pittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass.Well endowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.The first priest approached the window. “Young lady,” he began, “I would like three pickets to titsburg…” Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled.The second priest approached. “Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg,” he began, “and I would like the change in nipples and dimes.” So of course he also fled.Then came the third. “Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes...

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Blonde Trivia

A blonde was playing Trivia Pursuit and was asked if she was in a vacuum and someone called out her name, would she hear it?She thought and answered..”is it on or off?”

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Flying condom

Why did the condom fly across the room?? It got pissed off!!!

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