Daily Archives April 23, 2015

Girl Talk With Chelsea & Hillary

Chelsea Clinton was home for Christmas break. She was having lunch with her dear mother, Hillary, just talking about typical girl stuff. Hillary says to Chelsea, “My, my what a fine young lady you have turned out to be. Being a sophomore at Stanford and all, I’m so proud!”Hillary proceeds to give Chelsea a hug then speaks softly and asks her a question. “Say, I was just wondering since you’re all grown up now. Have you , um , had sex yet?”.Chelsea ponders and contemplates then responds.”Um, not according to dad.”!

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Blonde Friday

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered theelevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F”? (letters only). He smiled at her and replied,”S-H-I-T” (letters only).”She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again.He acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.”The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile andsaid as sweetly as possibly “T-G-I-F” another time. The man smiled “S-H-I-T.”The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said,”T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?”The man answered, “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

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Top10 reasons trick-or-treating is better than sex!

THE Top Ten Reasons Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. 7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave it to you.6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else. 5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months. 4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky. 3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.2. Less guilt the next morning. … and the number one reason trick-or-treating is better than sex …. 1. IF YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!

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Monica Lewinsky and a change machine?

Why are Monica Lewinsky and a change machine alike?They both say…”insert Bill here!”

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HoHoHo

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?He sold his soul to Santa!

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