Daily Archives April 22, 2015

The Ride

Sally was a girl with no horsebackriding experience, yet one day she discided to take her chances. As she climbed on the big Palimino, it took off at a gallop. Sally was sliding off. She tried to grab the mane but she couldn’t seem to get a grip. So in a great rush she threw herself from the thundering horse, but her foot got caught in the stirup. She was at the mercy of the pounding hooves, near unconsciousness, when……The Wall Mart manager came out to turn the ride off.

Read More

A corny blonde joke

Okay, so this blonde is driving by in his red sports car, and he seesanother blonde rowing with oars in a cornfield.Well, he is just absolutely furious and he gets out of the car and yells tothe blonde in the cornfield: “Hey, if I knew how to swim, I’d go right outthere and give you a piece of my mind!”

Read More

Don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’t jump!

Q. – How do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed?A. – Put velcro on the ceiling.

Read More

Two drunks

Two drunks are driving down the road drinking beer. All of a sudden they see a police car lights flashing in the rear view mirror. “What are we going to do?” asks the drunk passenger.”Don’t worry, I know what to do. Peel the label off your bottle and stick it to your forehead. Let me do all the talking.”They pull over and the cop gets out. “May I see your license and your registration?” he asks. The guy gives him his license. “Have you been drinking?” “No officer. We haven’t.””Well, you were weaving back and forth. Are you sure you haven’t had anything to drink?’ The officer asked.”I swear officer. I haven’t had a sip.””Well, why do you have beer labels on your foreheads?”The man answers, “These aren’t labels. We are alcoholics, and we’re on the patch.”

Read More

Twins

Headline in today’s newspaper:”Suicidal Twin kills sister by mistake”!

Read More