Daily Archives April 20, 2015

Polish Air Disaster

First, we want to apologize to our Polish friends, but rememberit’s just a joke!Polands’s Worst Air Disaster occurred today when a small two-seaterCessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon incentral Poland.Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so farand expect that number to climb as digging continues into theevening.

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Doctor Sex

This chick walks into a doctor’s office and the nurse tells her to take off her clothes and that the doctor will be with her in a minute, so she does. The doctor walks in and take off his coat and starts to feel between her thighs. He asks “do you know what I’m doing now” and she replies “you’re checking for menopause” and he says “very good”. Then he starts feeling her tits and he asks her “do you know what I’m doing now” and she says “checking for breast cancer” and he says “very good”.Then he jumps on her and starts rooting her and asks if she knows what he’s doing now and she replies “contracting genital herpes cause that’s why I came to see you”

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19 putdowns and rejections!

1 Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”2 Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?” Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”3 Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.” Woman: “No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there.”4 The rebuttal to a turn-down: Man: “Want to Dance?” Woman: “No thanks.” Man: “Don’t thank me, thank God because somebody asked you.”5 Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?” Woman: “It’s in the phone book.” Man: “But I don’t know your name.” Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”6 Man: “So what do you do for a living?” Woman: “Female impersonator.”7 Man: “You know, I’d really love to travel to exotic places with you.” Woman: (tries to ignore him) Man: “You know what? I also love sex...

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A new national anthem?

Sources close to President Clinton say he is proposing a newnational anthem for the United States, “Yank my Dandy Doodle!”

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Up, or down?

There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a carribean cruise. The wife, unfortunately, forgot her hearing aides at home…Upon arriving to the cabin that was to be theirs during the trip, they noticed that it had 2 bunk beds. So, as they were retiring for the first nite, the husband says to his wife, “Up, or down?”. The wife inexplicably removes all her clothing and makes love to her husband all nite long.The next nite, the husband wonders if he’ll get lucky again… So, he says to his wife, “Up, or down?” She again removes all her clothing and makes love to him all nite long.This continues for 2 glorious weeks.When they arrive home from their trip, the wife retrieves her hearing aides...

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