Daily Archives April 16, 2015

Don\’t be sexist…

Don’t be sexist… broads hate that!

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Lifestyles of Men and Women

Women’s Lifestyles Through the AgesAGE… DRINK17… Winecoolers25… White wine35… Red wine48… Dom Perignon66… Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaserEXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES17… Need to wash my hair25… Need to wash and condition my hair 35… Need to color my hair48… Need to have Francois color my hair66… Need to have Francois color my wigFAVORITE SPORT17… shopping25… shopping35… shopping48… shopping66… shoppingFAVORITE DRUG17… shopping25… shopping35… shopping48… shopping66… shoppingDEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE17… “Burger King”25… “Free meal”35… “A diamond”48… “A bigger diamond”66… “Home Alone”FAVORITE FANTASY17… tall, dark and handsome25… tall, dark and handsome with money35… tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 48… a man with hair66… a manHOUSE PET17… Muffy the cat25… Unemployed boyfr...

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The Irishman\’s Last Stand

There was an Irishman, a New Zealand man and an American man standing on the roof of a building, with an awning below them.The American said to the Irishman: “I bet I could jump off this roof, land on the awning and bounce back off.” So he jumped off, hit the awning, and was soon back on the roof. “There. Now you try.” he said to the Irishman.So the Irishman jumped off, and fell SPLAT on the ground.The New Zealander said to the American : “Jeez, Superman, you are a real jerk sometimes!”

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Nationalities

Q: What nationality are you if you’re going to the bathroom? A: EuropeanQ: And what nationality are you if someone’s knocking on the door while you’re going? A: You’re a Russian.

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Skins?

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.”The Frenchman says, “I take ze poison.” The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and drinks it down.The Englishman says, “A pistol for me, please.” The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, “God save the queen!” and blows his brains out.The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork.” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over –the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere...

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