Daily Archives April 16, 2015

The old lady in the bank

A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase ManhattanBank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young manat the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in thebag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though,she wished to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to theamount of money involved.The teller seemed to think that was a reasonable request and afteropening the paper bag and seeing the bundles of 1,000 bills whichamounted to right around 3 million, telephoned the bank’s secretaryto obtain an appointment for the lady.The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president’soffice. Introductions were made and she stated that she would liketo get to know the people she did business with on a more personallevel...

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College girl visits the doctor

A young woman goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.A couple of days later, another young woman comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest...

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A play on Computer Lingo.

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.2. COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.4. 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of2.5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.8. C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL9. C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN10. -{—– The information went data way ——–[11. Best file compression around: “DEL .” = 100% compression12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding14. The name is Baud……, James Baud.15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!16. Access denied–nah nah na nah nah!17...

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How Many cochroaches…?

Q.) How many cochroaches does it take to turn on a light?A.) No one knows…when the light comes on they all scatter!

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A bat joke.

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single batSTANDING upright underneath on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: “What the heckare you doing down there?”And the fellow shouts back: “Yoga!”

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