Daily Archives April 15, 2015

Paper or Plastic?

One day a guy went to a grocery store and the bagger boy asked him “Paperor Plastic” and the man said, “Uh…paper I guess.”Then the bagger boy said your total is $56.35. The man took out his wallet and said “Real or Counterfeit”.

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Suzy\’s Legs

There were three guys in a new bar that just openened and the bartender asked them what he should call his new bar.One guy said, “just name it a pub.” Another said, “just name it the bar.” The thrid guy said, “name it Suzy’s Legs”.The owner like that one so he called his bar Suzy’s Legs.The next morning, this same guy and his dog were sitting in front of the bar waiting for it to open when a cop drove by and asked what he was doing?He replied…nothing officer…”just waiting for Suzy’s Legs to open so I can get a drink!”

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This vet must belong to an HMO!

A man rushed into the veterinarian’s office carrying his dog, thoroughly distraught. The vet examined the dog’s still, limp body and sadly informed the man that the dog was dead.Saddened at the loss of his best friend, the man asked the doctor if he could please try one last time to revive the dog. The doctor stepped into his other room and returned with a cat in a wire cage. He set the cage on the examining table and opened the sliding door.The cat got up, stretched, stepped out of the cage and slowly walked around the dog from head to tail sniffing the body. When it was finished, it looked up at the veterinarian with a ?meow?, walked back into the cage and went back to sleep.The vet looked at the man and said in his best bedside manner, “I’m sorry, but there is nothing I can do...

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Grey hair

One day, a girl walked up to her mother and looked at her mother’shair and sadly said: “Why is some of your hair white mommy?”The mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turn white.The girl thought about this revelation a while, and then said… “Momma, how come *all* of grandma’s hairs are white?”

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A little corporate humor

A little corporate humor———————-I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets...

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