Daily Archives April 15, 2015

Roosters

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster. The current rooster was still doing okay, but he was getting on in years, and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn’t hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium and turns him loose in the barn yard. The old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. “So, they’re trying to replace me”, thinks the old rooster. “I’ve got to do something about this”.He walks up to the new bird and says, “So you’re the new stud in town? I bet you really think you’re hot stuff, don’t you? Well I’m not ready for the chopping block yet. I’ll bet I’m still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there...

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Upset golfers

Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men’s game. “Don’t they know they’re supposed to let us play through?” asked the first man. The other man shook his head. “I’m going to go ask them if we can play through,” said the first man, emphatically, “Enough is enough.”He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost.”Oh God,” he said to his friend, “This is awful. You’re going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress.”The other man shrugged, and said “No sweat...

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Chinese laundry man

This guy is walking through Chinatown. He is fascinated with all the Chinese Restaurants, the Chinese shops, the Chinese signs and banners on the buildings. He is having the best time just walking and looking. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry”.”Hans Olaffsen?”, he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?”. So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner.. The visitor asks, “How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?”.The old man answers “Is name of owner.” The visitor asks “Well, who in the heck is the owner?”. “I am he”, answers the old man...

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What is a country song played backwards?

What is a country song played backwards?Your wife gets back with you, your dog comes back to life, your carstarts, you get your job back and life is great.

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The Job Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked ayoung engineer fresh out of MIT, “What starting salary were you lookingfor?”The engineer replied, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, dependingon the benefits package.”The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeksvacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matchingretirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years– say, a red Corvette?”The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replied, “Well Yeah, but you started it.”

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