Daily Archives April 14, 2015

The boy on a nude beach.

Two parents take their son on vacation and go to a nude beach. Thefather goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays inthe water. He comes running up to his mom and says, “Mommy, I sawladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!”The mom says “the bigger they are, the dumber they are.” So he goesback to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,”Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy’s!”Mom says, “the bigger they are, the dumber they are.” So he goesback to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,”Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw andthe more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!”

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The fly

The setting is a quiet and serene country stream weaving through the gentle hills of a grassy plain. All is quiet and still, and, lo, a small fly hovers a few inches above the quiet waters of the stream.Beneath the water floats a small fish. The fish thinks to itself, if that fly just drops two inches, I will be able to jump out of the water and catch it.Now, standing on the bank of the stream lurks a bear. The bear looks at the scene and thinks to itself, if that fly drops just two inches, then the fish will jump out of the water to catch it, and I will be able to dash into the stream and snap up the fish in my mouth.Crouching nearby the stream, in the tall grass, waits a hunter...

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Six Bad Days

Six Bad Days1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by a killer whale.2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record...

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Beers for everyone!

A guy walked into a bar and said “Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender.” But when it was time to pay, the guy didn’t have the money, so the bartender beat him up. The next day the guy did the same thing, ordered a beer for everyone, even the bartender, and the bartender beat him up since the guy couldn’t pay. Then the next day, the guy said “Beers for everyone! But not you, bartender!” The bartender said “Why?” The guy replyed “You’re violent when you’re drunk!”

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Blonde’s Revenge

What the difference between a brunette and the trash? The trash gets taken out once a week!

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