Daily Archives April 12, 2015

Heaven or Hell?

There are three guys who are good friends. One is an American, oneis Polish, and one is Italian.They are driving together one day when they get into a car accident. They all die and float up towards the gates of Heaven. When they get there, an angel who tells them they are all on the border of Heaven and Hell. As a result, they have the choice to either ask a question of the angel or be asked a question. If they answer correctly, or if the angel answers incorrectly on their question, they will pass into Heaven. The Italian guy goes first. He tells the angel to ask him a question. The angel says, “How many grains of sand are there in the world?” The Italian guy says, “Um, four trillion?” and falls straight to Hell. The polish guy goes next and wants the angel toe ask a question...

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A Room for a Night

Many years agao, a Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort on Cape Cod –one that did not admit Jews.The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.”The Jewish lady said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.” The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, “You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town…”Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeably and said, “I’ll have you know, I converted to your religion.”The desk clerk said, “Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test.How was Jesus born?”Mrs. Rosenberg replied, “He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem.””Very good,” replied the hotel clerk. “Tell me more.”Mrs...

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The transfer

The boss of a large company says to his protege : ” I’m transferring you to the northern office “The protege says : ” But that place is full of whores and football players!”The boss replies : ” My wife used to live there ! “The protege quickly responds: ” Really ?? What position does she play ? “

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Forrest Gump goes to heaven…

Forest Gump Goes to Heaven…The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.Saint Peter says, “Well, Forest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.” “I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.”Forest responds, “It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this.” “Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”Saint Peter goes on, “Yes, I know Forest...

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Cosmo Quad Turbo RX-7

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Bugatti Veyron 16.4. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it sets him back $1.24M. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, “What kind of car ya’ got there, sonny?”The young man replies “A 2005 Bugatti Veyron 16.4. It cost $1.24M.”That’s a lot of money” says the old man, shocked. “Why does it cost so much?”Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!” states the cool dude proudly.The moped driver asks, “Can I take a look inside? “Sure,” replies the owner.So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around...

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