Daily Archives April 11, 2015

Adam talks to God.

One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, “Excuse me GOD, can I ask you a few questions?”GOD replied, “Go on Adam but be quick I have a world to create.”So Adam says,” When you created Eve, why did You make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?””I did that, Adam, so that you could love her.””Oh, well then, why did You give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?””I did that Adam so that you could love her.””Oh, well then, why did You make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?””Well Adam, no. I did that so that she could love you”

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Blonde quickies 21-40

Q1: How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?A: There’s white-out on the screen.Q2: How can you tell if another blonde’s been using the computer?A: There’s writing on the white-out.Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?A: She has a checkbook.Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent to a blonde?A: There is a stamp on it.Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?A: By the buckle print on her forehead.Q: How can you tell who is a blonde’s boyfriend?A: He’s the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead!Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil...

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The Blonde Kidnapper

Once upon a time when a Blonde was hard up for money, she decided to kidnap a child. So the next day she goes to a nearby playground and when nobody is looking, she pulls a random kid behind a tree and says, “You’re kidnapped, so be quiet and don’t give me any trouble.” The little boy, too startled to do anything stands there in shock. The Blonde then pulls out a note that reads:I am a desperate Blonde hard up for money. I have kidnapped your kid and if you ever want to see him again you arrange for 5,000 dollars in non-sequencial, unmarked bills to be put next to this tree by 12:00 tonight, or else.She hands the note to the kid and tells him to give it to his mother. The next day the Blonde finds the bag of money next to the tree...

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Why did the condom fly across the road?

Why did the condom fly across the road?-It was pissed off!!

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What do you call a gay dinosaur?

What do you call a gay dinosaur?A megasorass.

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