Daily Archives April 10, 2015

YMCA

What did the blonde say when she saw the YMCA sign??LOOK!!! They spelled MACY’s wrong!!!!

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Do You Know what Im doing?

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.””That is right,” said the doctor.He then began to fondle her breasts.”Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked.”Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.””Correct,” replied the shady doctor.Finally, he mounts his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?””Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”

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Congressional Question?

If the prefix “con” is the opposite of the prefix “pro”, then is “Congress” the opposite of “progress”?

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The Big Pencil

Question: What’s the biggest pencil in the World?Answer: Pennsylvania!

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Blonde Mechanics

A young blonde female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps a MG convertible.That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with it’s gorgeous red paint job. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop...

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