Daily Archives April 10, 2015

What an idiot!

There were three men. Joe, Rich, and Scott. They were all camping in the woods, and they knew they had to stop forthenight. Joe suggested they stop where they were right there, a niceclear,wooded area. Rich agreed, but Scott disagreed, because there was nothinginteresting around, only trees. They kept hiking for a little longer, and came across a small clear area,right next to the highway. Both Joe and Rich wanted to saty there becausethere was no stumps, or moss around, and the sounds of the cars couldhelpto put them asleep. Scott said no, because he found a small ant farm 500meters away, and was scared the ants might come, and get them. SO they kept hiking, and finally, they came to the end of the woods, andstepped onto the highway...

Read More

Actual product instructions.

ACTUAL PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS:ON A HAIRDRYER:*Do not use while sleeping.ON A BAG OF FRITOS:*You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:*Directions: Use like regular soap.FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION:*Defrost.ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:*Fits one head.ON TESCO’S TIRIMISU DESERT:*Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:*Product will be hot after heating.ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:*Do not Iron clothes on body.ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE:*Do not drive car or operate machinery.ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):*Warning: May cause drowsiness.ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:*Warning: Keep out of children.ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:*For indoor or outdoor use only...

Read More

The Lady with no legs or arms.

A guy was walking along the beach admiring the beautiful sunset when he noticed a young lady laying in the sand, she had no arms and no legs and was crying.He goes over and asked what was wrong. She said, “I am 21 years old, I have no legs and no arms and I have never been kissed”.So, he bends down and kisses her and she stops crying. He gets up to walk away and she starts to cry again. Again, he asks her what is wrong.She says, “I am 21 years old, I have no arms and no legs and I have never been screwed.”So, he goes over to her, picks her up and throws her in the water, and says – “there, now you’re screwed”!

Read More

Skeleton Joke

A Skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer… and a mop.

Read More

Cliff Hanger

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette all jump off a cliff. Which onehit the bottom first?Not the blonde, she needed directions!

Read More