Daily Archives April 8, 2015

The elephant\’s trunk transplant

Jack goes to the doctor and says “Doc I’m having trouble getting mypenis erect, can you help me?”After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, “Well theproblem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penisare damaged. There’s really nothing I can do for you except ifyou’re willing to try an experimental treatment.”Jack asks sadly, “What is this treatment?” “Well,” the doctorexplains, “what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of ababy elephant and implant them in your penis.”Jack thinks about it silently then says, “Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, lets go forit.”A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light touse his improved equipment...

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Blonde quickies 81-100

81. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes? A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.82. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A: ‘Cause everybody gets a turn.83. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A: ‘Cause she’s been laid all over the country.84. Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex? A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?85. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm? A: *Who cares?*86. Q: Why do blonds have orgasms ? A: So they know when to stop having sex !87...

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Truth Be Told

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?”The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for a moment and then confesses. “Yes. Yes he did.”The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected...

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How do crazy people get through the forest?

How do crazy people get through the forest?They take the psycho path.

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To My Dear Spouse…

O MY DEAR WIFE,During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 days...

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