Daily Archives April 7, 2015

Scottish Joke

What’s the difference between an English Sheepherder and Mick Jagger?Mick Jagger sings “Hey, Hey, you, you , get off of my cloud.”An English sheepherder says: “Hey, Hey MacCloud! Get off of my ewe!”

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The Blonde and the Cheerios

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?Oh! Look!! Doughnut seeds!!!

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Your Funeral

There were three men sitting on a bench. Man1 asked the other two: “What do you want your family and friends to say at your funeral?”. Man2 says, “I guess I’d want them to say I was a nice guy and I took care of my family”.Man3 says, “I’d want them to say things like that too”.Man1 said “Really? I’d want them to say… LOOK! HE’S MOVING!”.

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When it gets hot

A Dutchman, a German and a Belgian are planning to walk in the desert. The Dutchman says: “I’ll bring an umbrella for the shade when it gets too hot.” The German says: “I’ll bring some sunglasses. This sun can really destroy your eyes!” The Belgian remains silent. Next day, the Dutchman and the German are astonished. “What’s that?” they both shout. The Belgian answers: “It’s a car door. Now I can open the window when it gets hot…”

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Clinton\’s Son

What happened to Chelsea Clinton’s younger brother?Monica swallowed him!

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