Daily Archives April 5, 2015

Oscar Mayer? Song

Sung to the Oscar Mayer? song:His baloney has a first name,It’s “I did not inhale.”His baloney has a second name:”I wasn’t getting tail.”He loves to sling it every day,The White House people all just say,That Billy Clinton has a wayOf making bullshit sound OK!

Read More

Itch – ouch -itch – ouch.

What is total agony? A one-armed man hanging from a twenty storybuilding, with a serious case of jock itch.

Read More

New dinosaur found!

Q: What do you get when you mix a dinosaur and a lesbian?A: A Lickalotapuss!

Read More

Real Men

Q. How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Real Men aren’t afraid of the dark.

Read More

The lazy hubby

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.”He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don’t think so.””Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won’t close right.”To which he replied, “Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don’t think so.””Fine,” she says, “Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They’re about to break.””I’m not a damn carpenter and I don’t want to fix the steps,” he says. “Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don’t think so. I’ve had enough of you...

Read More