Daily Archives April 5, 2015

Bellybuttons

- How come blonde girls have bruises around and in their bellybuttons?- I don’t know…Why?- Because blonde boys are stupid as well!

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The Three Idiots

Once, there were three guys stranded on an island, and the mainland was 100 miles away.The first guy swam 25 miles, and drowned.The second guy swam 50 miles, and drowned.The third guy swam 99 miles, and said,”I’m tired. I think I’ll swim back.”

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Can You See?

Bob: Can you see farther during the day or at night?Joe: During the day of course.Bob: Wrong! During the day you can only see the sun but at night you cansee the stars.

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The Flashlight

Why did the little girl bury her flashlight?Because the batteries died.

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Only in America!

“Only in America”:…can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance….are there handicapped parking places in front of a skating rink….do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke….do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters….do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage….do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place….do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight….do we use the word “politics” to describe the process so well: “poli” in latin meaning “many” and “tics” meaning “blood-sucking creatures”.

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