Daily Archives April 4, 2015

The Unhappy Nun

The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company’s complaint department to ask for help.”The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community. You must make them stop cursing so much.”, said the nun.”Very well, sister. But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.”, said the company spokeswoman.Mother superior then observed, “I think the term they actually use is ‘fucking shovel!'”.

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Amish father

Q: How does an Amish father find his daughter in the field? A: Pretty good.

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Blonde quickies 101-120

101. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she’s pregnant.102. Q: How do blondes get pregnant? A: And you thought blondes were dumb.103. Q: What will she ask you? A: “Is it mine?”104. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.105. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side.106. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back.107. Q: Why do Blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is.108. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill? A: Because it kept falling out.109...

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Let me say grace!

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.”Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling I’m gonna get lucky after that.Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack.”The young man makes his purchase and leaves.Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes...

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Lesbian Frogs

What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?MMmmmm, tastes like chicken!

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