Category Miscellaneous

Half A Brain

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?A: Gifted!

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If Men got pregnant!

1. Maternity leave would last two years….with full pay.2. There would be a cure for stretch marks.3. Natural childbirth would become obsolete.4. Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.5. All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.6. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.8. They wouldn’t think twins were so cute.9. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.10. Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.11. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.12. They’d stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.13. Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree’s.14. Women would rule the world.

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Birthday Present For Wife

Two men are sitting in a pub talking, one mentions that it’s his wife’s birthday soon and he doesn’t know what to get her.The second man says that he bought his wife a blue Porsche and a red Porsche for her birthday because if she didn’t like the blue one, she could have the red one, and vice versa.The next week, the second man asks the other what he finally bought his wife. He replies, “a necklace and a vibrator.””Why?” asks the second man.To which the other man replies, “Because if she doesn’t like the necklace, she can go fuck herself.”

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Alabama License Application

Last name: _________________First name:(Check appropriate box)[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue Age: ______ (if unsure, guess) Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right Occupation:[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician Spouse’s Name_________________________2nd Spouse’s Name: _________________3rd Spouse’s Name: _________________ Lover’s Name: ________________________2nd Lover’s Name: ___________________ Relationship to spouse:[_] Sister [_] Aunt[_] Brother [_] Uncle[_] Mother [_] Son[_] Father [_] Daughter[_] Cousin [_] Pet Number of children living in household: _____Number of childre...

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Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with…The other is used to carry groceries.

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